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A Challenged Heart
By Bill Jacobs
When I'm Emperor of the Universe, pulpits will be for peace ...
I'm actually ashamed to admit it, but when the CNN home page loaded today on my laptop screen - displaying a large "Rev. Jerry Falwell dead at 73" - I found myself softly uttering a single word ...
... "good".
I was simultaneously stunned and angered by my own reaction, amazed that I had let the life of this "holy" man make me feel less-than-spiritual reactions at his death.
Sure, I always knew I never liked the man. I considered many of his statements and actions over the years to be truly unChristian, bigoted, and hate-filled. As someone who had once considered being a minister myself, I strongly felt that Falwell's presence as a "representative of Christ" in our world served more to give Christianity a bad name and to turn many in need away from the true love and hope that is found in God's grace, than to bring them to it.
Yes, just as some world leaders take advantage of global situations to create wars and multiply their own political powers, there have always been "spiritual leaders" doing the same in the name of God. They take advantage of the spiritually-needy, banding them together by creating missions and marches against all others who don't share in their beliefs. Their power rises - along with the donations in their coffers - in equal proportion to the level of their condemnations, vilifications and finger-pointing, leaving those outside their cult of fear and wrath to ask, "where is the love?"
I did find it most fitting, however, that in CNN's online report of Falwell's death, it was noted that Falwell had "a history of heart challenges."
Maybe buried deep within the pompous and pious chest-thumping man there was a heart in turmoil, a heart challenged and conflicted by misguided beliefs and actions, and a ministry that went against the true love and message of God.
I can only pray that in the end, the goodness of his heart won out.
Bill Jacobs
Los Angeles, CA
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